Newborn Mothers: When a baby is born, so is a mother.
I’m in beginning stages of my Post-Natal Yoga Training and have started reading around the subject and just come across this brilliant little book – I had to share it with you all!
There are so many books out there on what to do with your baby: How will you parent? How will you ‘make’ them sleep? How will you feed them? And confusingly, all of these books seem to have not just different approaches, but completely polarized suggestions! Strict routines vs baby led cues, gentle vs authoritarian, baby led weaning vs puree feeding; the list could go on.
This book is about YOU AS A MOTHER. It is about creating a blueprint for motherhood that takes the pressure off and allows you to enjoy the most special time of your life.
Being a new mum is a shock. Human babies are fully dependent on their mother in a way you probably don’t fully appreciate until you have your own. Though we all have an app on our phone to follow the developments of our pregnancy and many of us will make a ‘plan’ or research our options for birth, that time after the birth largely gets overlooked. This book is perfect to help you prepare for being a Newborn Mother.
It’s only 128 pages long so only took me 2 hours to get through even with a toddler running around in the background! It’s broken down in to concise but powerful chunks, so it’s easy to dip in and out of when you are waiting for the kettle to boil, on the loo, or feeding your baby. I would recommend reading it during pregnancy if you can as some of the wonderful suggestions you could begin actioning in your third trimester. However, because it’s such an easy read it would be great in those early days, and Julia points out you are always post-natal once you’ve had a baby so there are certainly lots of useful thoughts for those mums whose babies are now older. Because it’s not about what to do with the baby, but what to do for yourself, it’s equally useful if you are a second- third- or fourth-time mum as much as if you are a first time mum.
Julia begins by looking at ‘baby brain’ and highlights how this is actually a strength for newborn mothers, not the insult it is used as in our society. Did you know that your brain post-natally has altered neuroplasticity (the ability to change)? This means your brain is primed for learning and assimilating your new role, you are literally ready for this!
If you came along to LushTums Pregnancy Yoga (or did hypnobirthing or any antenatal education), you will have no doubt heard of Oxytocin. This hormone is known as the hormone of love and you will have probably heard about the positive effects it has on labour, but it is also essential in parenting too. Julia describes how it affects our ability to fall in love with our baby, our pain and stress responses and our social interactions. She gives day-to-day, manageable and natural ways to increase your oxytocin and therefore your ‘feel good factor’ in the early days. Loving touch, comfort food, warmth, connection and rest – all the delicious things in life!
A key concept from the book is that parenting new babies is not designed to be a one-woman job. Julia unpicks the history of parenting and how and why things have changed so dramatically in our society today. We have lost our ‘village’ and this directly leads to many mothers feeling lost immediately post-partum. We can rage about the wrongs of our way of life today…but Julia offers up some simple ways you can fulfil the need for a village within the system we’ve currently got. Friendships, practical support and asking for help are the key messages.
There is also a chapter telling stories of ‘traditional parenting’ from cultures around the world. I really enjoyed this part of the book as some of the traditions really resonated with me as things I would like to use post-natally myself but also because it just highlighted how there isn’t a correct way to do this: it’s not what you do but how you do it.
The final section of the book looks at the things you can do post-natally and why you might do them. And not that surprisingly, we find that modern science backs up ancient wisdom! Julia gives 6 ‘pillars’ of parenthood that will lift you up:
1. Make a plan (but don’t stick to it!)
2. Build your village (people that lift you up, not drag you down)
3. Make mistakes (read your baby, not an expert-written book)
4. Embrace baby brain (grow in to the new person you are)
5. Ask for help (this is not a one-woman job)
6. Love conquers all
The final message really is LOVE YOURSELF AS YOU LOVE YOUR BABY…DO WHAT BRINGS PEACE AND JOY. All of us find motherhood intense – if we want the world to be a better place for our children and their children, let’s do the groundwork now and respect and cherish ourselves.
Do something for yourself – get this book and read it, I’m sure you won’t regret it!
Kim Mousley, Pregnancy Yoga teacher in Hanham & St George, Bristol
www.lushtums.co.uk/hanham-timetable-kim-mousley